This article is an excerpt from my new book, One Simple Thing That Changes Everything.
Download your sneak peek here. Enjoy!
Do you ever feel like you’re a like a chess piece in someone else’s game; a powerless player that is frequently used, abused and manipulated for the gain and self interest of others in business? Self interest that’s often thinly disguised as some kind of action, decision or “plan” that’s somehow not in your best interest? Isn’t it incredible how some self-called guru’s know what’s best for their business and yours?
If only you and I had the ability to think and choose for ourselves; things could be so different. Have you ever felt like your business (or part of your business) has been taken prisoner by someone else’s ego, insecurity and/or greed? Welcome to a very large club in the business world.
Gurus, Experts and Others
Perhaps you feel like you’re trapped in some kind of on-going poker game where you’re never dealt any good cards in your business. As a result you feel like you have no real influence, impact or leverage… just the rare bluff. The truth is, knowingly or not, many of us have given away our personal power (or part thereof) and allowed situations, circumstances and other people to dictate, direct and control our reality. Some of us have let what “so-called guru’s and experts” tell us what we can do and what we can’t do in our business growth.
Being a humble, generous and occasionally selfless entrepreneur is to be admired and respected but being an entrepreneur who has essentially handed over the wheel of their business is heartbreaking, sad and ultimately fatal. Someone who has given away their personal power is an entrepreneur who has given away control, hope and happiness. And their ability to dare to dream big. It’s nice to be nice but it’s foolish to be a walked all over.
Some entrepreneurs confuse feelings with reality. Not “feeling” powerful doesn’t necessarily compare to not “being” powerful. Unless we make it that. For the most part, feelings (read, fear) merely get in the way of our potential, personal power, growth, daring to dream big and success. As a rule, our emotions and thoughts are in no way an indicator of our potential or the incredible future we might create and results we might produce if we should choose to use our power rather than give it away — as we have done in the past. Just because you don’t “feel” powerful or consider yourself to be powerful doesn’t mean that you’re not or you can’t be; it simply means you’re denying your potential and buying into a fearful limiting mindset. A feeling is only a feeling and a thought is only a thought until you make them a reality; good or bad.
Just to clarify and to point out how important this piece is:
- We give away our power – the gurus, experts and others can’t take it without our permission;
- We allow people and things to have an unhealthy level of control and influence in our business;
- Getting angry, cynical and/or resentful at others will fix nothing;
- Positive growth and change starts with awareness, understanding and acknowledgement; and
- The situation will change when you change – and you can change any time you chose.
Even as you read this right now, some of you might be rationalising your less-than-desirable existence and situation in your business to make yourselves feel better and to evade confronting the things you know you should deal with. Your world will change — when you do. You have the ability, you have the understanding and you have the reasons – now find the courage, confidence and kahunas.
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Hi Big Thinker!
Can you stop being a door mat, raise your self-esteem and feel more powerful in your business?
I know for sure that self-esteem and feeling more powerful in our business is our perception of ourselves and our self worth, including the beliefs we hold regarding ourselves (for example, “I am smart”, “I am gifted and talented”, etc). It is how we see ourselves and, sadly, sometimes this gets blended together with how we see ourselves in relation to others and what we do in your business. In turn we often use what we do for a living to define who we are and our own worth. So when things aren’t going as well in our business as we want them to, it is our self-esteem that takes a hit.
I am often asked, “What can you do to stop being a doormat, raise your self-esteem in your business when it is running a little low? Or what to do when you’re worrying about what others are thinking about you, you know, the office or Facebook gossip?” You have absolutely no control over what others think so being held hostage by something out of your control is a sure-fire way to lower your self-esteem. It’s what you think that makes a difference.
What if you could celebrate the small and medium wins as well as the large? For instance, it is all too easy to move from one project to the next without taking the time to acknowledge a job well done in your business.
When you work with others there is bound to be drama and some negativity. Remember, the situation or the person doesn’t make you feel a certain way; it’s your beliefs that cause you to feel. The bottom line: you get to choose how you feel and how you respond to someone or something else…so choose wisely.
Are you always comparing yourself to others in your chosen field? When you play the comparison game all you are really doing is hiding your own abilities and talents.
Not sure how to nip the stinkin’ thinkin’ in the bud. We all make mistakes in business. We all have bad days, but guess what? When we fall prey to the stinkin thinkin’, it not only impacts our moods but our self-esteem levels as well.
Whatever you choose to raise your self-esteem just know you deserve to feel good about you and the things you do in your business and outside the business.
I gone into more depth here in today’s posts see if you are denying yourself your full potential?
Here’s to BIG dreams!
This article is an excerpt from my new book, One Simple Thing That Changes Everything.
Download your sneak peek here. Enjoy!
